There comes a time in every girl's life where she's thrown in with new people and faced with different experiences in a different environment. For most, this is college. And for those who left a small group of friends that they've had since middle school and spent their lives surrounded by the same things every day for 18 years, this time of life can be both a culture shock and an eye-opening occurence.
I guess you could say that growing up in the small town that I did, having the same friends for a majority of my life, my experiences regarding sex were pretty limited. Yes, of course, by the time you're in high school you know what sex, is how it works, people who are doing it. But I guess being surrounded by people who for the most part weren't doing it, my impression was molded into thinking that those who did were the minority.
Apparently, I was mistaken.
College introduced me to modern social code. Sex is not like the movies, sex is not taboo, sex is something that isn't as sacred to a lot of people as I had believed. The story of how/when/where/why you lost your virginity comes up pretty early in friendship, and sex is the most common topic of conversation on those nights that homework is ignored into oblivion.
Everyone sees it differently. Everyone holds their own morals and values and everyone can tell you something different about their beliefs and experiences. I find it truly fascinating to spend a night sharing these things with friends and I am no longer afraid to bring it up, to question things, and to hear about it. But by far, I have found it so comforting to find people who understand, even if they think differently. Nobody wants to be ridiculed for their morals, and I think that's something important to remember.
The big V. Who still has it, who lost it, who's is so far gone that nobody know when it happened? Virginity is sacred to some, meaningless to others, and in between for the rest. So is it shameful to have it or not to have it? Is it cool to have lost it or was it something that shouldn't have happened? The same questions always surround the word and it's usually gossip or plain conversation that brings about the answers. Is promiscuity attractive or waiting for marriage? What do men like?
Why does this matter so goddamn much?
Ladies, if there is anything I have discovered it is that sex is fun to talk about, but something that you should never change your mind about just for the talk. Your virginity is your virginity and no one else's. So men don't like you preference? Find one that will. So your friends think your crazy for waiting? They'll get over themselves. You think your friends are crazy for waiting? Then go have your own sex. Whether you're having sex or not, never let it take over your life. We are fierce, we are independent, and we can do whatever the hell we want with our sex lives. That's the beauty of it. And I suppose the best part is that we can talk about it and listen to each other and laugh and cry and squeal.
Nothing like a container of Oreos and some sex talk. But please, spare the gritty details.
--Rachael
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